Vanglorious!!!

(Mary Had A Little Lamb) But Not Like This!

Now That We Found Love - Heavy D

Here is a two-fer Friday post for the loyal readers of The Funk. I'm sure by now that if you have a TV, or a woman who has a TV, you have seen the ads for the new 'date' movie, Hitch, starring Will "Don't call me Fr-re-re-resh" Smith. (Side note: Even if he wanted to go back to using the Fresh Prince moniker it wouldn't fit, cause boy is the King!...just kidding. Seriously). You know the drill with these movies so I won't bore you to death, or at least paralysis, by giving you the details. However, you can find them here if you are so inclined.

But while watching Johnny Zero last week, I saw the trailer for this movie and in the back ground was today's Dance-Hop track, Heavy D and the Boyz' (is that the right punctuation? Do you treat the z the same as the s in plurality?) "Now That We Found Love". And in a millisecond, it took me back to the video and the conversation I would have with my man O'Lekan about it some years later.

My whole point was at the time of this song, most of the New Jack Swing groups of the day (Teddy Riley, Keith Sweat, Al B. Sure, etc) would do at least one video per album and that the videos all sort of had the same thing. Here is a recreation of that conversation:

B: Man, that new Heavy D video was terrible.
O: True. But the girlies liked it.
B: Yeah I know. But here is the thing I don't get. When they were thinking about shooting that video, why did they choose that motif?
O: Good question. It's like the director thought that the "street theme" would give Heavy D some cred in the rap community. Dude already had it. This is Mr. Big Stuff we are talking about.
B: For reals. Here is the director, "Okay, Heavster, you are in the streets looking hard and whatever you rap guys do, then POW!, dancers in bright colored jumpsuits jump out and you go into the routine. Oh and it's raining." I mean, what the f*%k?
O: F*&kin' bamas.

So that was basically it.
You can peep the video here (but beware, it's at MTV.com and their ads are atrocious!, and it's a clip, not the full deal)

And that's about it for Dance-Hop week. Thank goodness. Cause I can't keep letting yawl know that I have all of these songs in my collection. Ruins my street cred (Let's all sell our souls!).

We'll be back next week with a new theme and some new craziness in the world of all thangs funky.

Til then, take it easy.
Brother B

What The Duece? Where is my Jeezus Piece?

Girl I Wanna Walla, In The Back Of My Impala..

Come On Ride It (The Train) - Quad City DJs

Back in effect for the Naught-Five, that's '05 for those of you who are not up on your early (last) century slanguistics. Today, I went all the way down 95 south, to America's wang (according to Homer Simpson) to dig up this classic of classic Miami Bass/Booty Bass/Rap-Dance gumbo of a track.

This was like most of the tracks that we here at The Funk have featured this week in that it was meant for one reason and one reason only. To get your sorry arse on the dance floor. Mission accomplished.

This jammy had it's own dance, which was essential to club tracks at this time. The dance it self wasn't anything to beatbox home about, but it was simple. And that meant that drunk girlies and rhythmically challenged white guys could pick it up. But the kicker was that you needed a mass of folks to make it work. It was literally the ghetto conga line. To me, it looked like a frat routine that went around in circles. But man did it give you a work out. I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere, a step class in 1996 wasn't sweating to this song.

Released back in 1996, this song made it's way around the radio stations and video programs. The video was pretty unimaginative, simply cause it was a bunch of people dancing. But to the trained eye, this video is great. Here are the reasons:

1.) The Phallic looking spaceship that apparently is substituting for an actual train. Looks like a star cruise model for a "Star Wars Shot At Home" movie.
2.) The implementation of the aforementioned dance routine.
3.) You have the B-Boy, an MC, and a DJ. If they would have found a way to get a graf artist in there, it would have gone into "Fourth Element" mode.

In a strange way, the video is what would result if Club MTV with Downtown Julie Brown & a Soul Train episode at Elizabeth City State that was held in outerspace would be if they had youngins. (ed. note, does that make any kind of sense?) You can judge for yourself here.

Here is the Bio for the group:

The production team of C.C. Lemonhead (Nathaniel Orange) and Jay Ski (Johnny McGowan) met as high-school pals in Jacksonville, FL. Interested in the bottom-heavy sound of Miami bass, the pair began producing and worked with Icy J and Three Grand before creating the most popular bass anthem of all time, "Whoot (There It Is)."(I did not know that)Recorded as 95 South, the single went platinum three times over in 1993 and led to work with Dis-n-Dat ("Freak Me Baby") and for 69 Boyz, the double-platinum single "Tootsee Roll."(Didn't know that either!) As producers of "Tootsee Roll" and the subsequent album by 69 Boyz (199Quad), C.C. and Jay Ski picked up an award for Billboard's Best Rap Single of 1994 and placed in the top ten producers of that year. In 1995, the duo united as Quad City DJ's and produced another platinum hit -- "C'Mon N' Ride It (The Train)." The following album, Get on Up and Dance, hit the Top 40 and was certified gold.

Unfortunately, there isn't a real neato story that I have to tie this post all together. Well except for the shame I have to this day for buying their album when it came out. Gives me the heebie jeebies. But I wasn't really a dance freak so it wore off.

Thank goodness for file sharing.

Brother B. aka Minister of International Relations

I don't believe I can fly but...

In place of a permanent linkage section (I can't figure out how to do it right), I'll from time to time post a whole gang of links related to The Funk and its endeavors. But now and again I'll through in some illy-funkstas to give you'alls a peep into the makings and origins of this here posting machine.Round One (and in this corner!)

Big L - Harlem's Finest

Can I Bring My Gat?

Defined Print

Soul Sides

Steady Bootleggin'

Team Demolition on the Web

The Broke BBoys

THE FOREIGN EXCHANGE

Z-TRIP

Unkut.com

So click on these mamma jammas and tell 'em The Funk sent you, but not with that outfit on. Sheesh! BBD

Things That Make You Say WTF???

Things That Make You Go Hmmm - C&C Music Factory feat. Freedom Williams

"I was at the crib sittin' by the fireplace, drinking cocoa on the bear skin rug..."
Now if that isn't an opening line, I don't know what is. And for the record, you all don't have to front cause you all know that you know this track...(as he crosses fingers in hopes that he isn't the only one...).

Anyhow, because it's Dance Hop week here at The Funk I figured that I'd lay a little "Pop Dance Rap" on yawl asses. Remember this epidemic? You had groups like C&C, Snap, and PM Dawn who were all over the radio/MTV type stations. Funny thing was that you would never really see these groups or their videos on Rap City back then (maybe you'd catch "I Got The Power" now and then), unlike the assimilation that goes on today. I guess that's what happens when creativity goes out the window. Oh and yeah, you get bought out by a large corporate entity. But hey, Bob owns the Bobcats now, so it's cool if Rap City is more like Rap Corner now (sarcasm intended). Here is a little rundown of the C&C History:

C+C Music Factory wasn't really a group -- it was the product of Robert Clivillés and David Cole, two pop-savvy dance producers. In 1989, Clivillés and Cole hired all the singers and created all the tracks for Gonna Make You Sweat, C+C Music Factory's first album. While it was prepackaged, it wasn't necessarily faceless; in Freedom Williams, the producers had a solid, if not original or distinctive, rapper. What was really important to the success of the album was how Clivillés and Cole assembled the tracks, melding hip-hop and club sensibilities to mindlessly catchy pop songs. The three hit singles -- "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)," "Here We Go," "Things That Make You Go Hmmmm..." -- were very good pop singles, and all of them were massive hits in early 1991.

After their moment in the sun, Williams left for an unsuccessful solo career and Clivillés and Cole released Greatest Remixes, Vol. 1, a collection of their work with C+C Music Factory as well as other artists; the album had a hit single with their re-recording of U2's "Pride."

C+C Music Factory released their second album, Anything Goes!, in the summer of 1994; it was a moderate hit, spending nine weeks on the charts. Unfortunately, it was the last album the duo ever made -- David Cole died of spinal meningitis in early 1995.

Speaking of the decline of our culture, me and my homie Keith Boogs have this thing where we'll point out the most ig'nant shit we see during the daily routine. It's pretty funny. Here is the latest:

So I was in Tower the other day to pick up a few CDs when I overheard this kid, who was 10 at best, go up to his dad and ask him if he could get a CD. Dad asked him which one. Kid showed him the new Tupac CD. Dad looked at it, shrugged his shoulders and took it with him to the counter. Now it may just be me but this type of shit is gut wrenching to me for two reasons. 1st being that the Dad has no business buying Tupac for his 10 year old. But that's up for debate, and as a non-parent I can't say if it's bad parenting or not. But 2nd, it leaves open that possibility that in a few years you are going to have a whole bunch of 12-13 year old white kids using the N word like it means nothing. Like it's cool or something. Like Public Enemy didn't exist. Like X-Clan or Arrested Development never happened. Shame really. But it's just my opinion. (Note to readers, we here at The Funk won't be going into much social commentary but if we feel the need to address something...we'll do it. That being said, it's back to the regular madness)

I remember listening to this song back when it came out because I was on my way to Select Basketball practice down at Dranesville Elementary and I was riding with Clarence and his pops and this was playing on the radio. It was PGC I think. The DJ came on and said that the US had just started bombing Iraq into oblivion in the official start of Desert Storm. Yes, that is how long ago this track came out.

But why is this important? Well at that practice I had a brand spanking new pair of Air Jordan 5s. I was the king of that practice, and for the rest of the week. I wore them things to school, to church, to get the mail, everywhere I could. I mean these shoes were the first purchase that I made off the previous summer's lawn mowing money. I can't even remember how many yards I plowed through. But I was the man for a very short period of time. Of course, being that young, I had no idea that you needed to take care of Jordans. Treat them like a fine women and pamper them...uh...oh, yeah. Needless to say, about 3 weeks later they looked like this. All the fame, the respect, and the girlies were Audi 5 Thousand. I have never really recovered. Sniff.

Cold Steady Lampin'-
Sibling After A.

Is Somebody Cookin'???

Thank you Joe Rogan!

...And Twiiiiiiiins!

Do It To The Crowd - Twin Hype

To continue the "dance" hip hop theme for today, I have dug around in the various caverns of my ThinkPad to find today's selection. You should see that thing. On some Luray type ill.

I don't profess to know the historical dealing of The Brothers Hype but here is what I could find:

New Jersey's Twin Hype released a pair of albums during a short career that spawned one undeniably brilliant single in the form of "Do It to the Crowd." Twin brothers Sly (Glennis Brown) and Slick (Lennis Brown) (Ed. Note: Glennis & Lennis?, that's better than Ronnie & Lonnie Productions! Represent!) were joined by DJ King Shameek (Jose Matos) for a self-titled 1989 album and Double Barrel, a 1991 follow-up -- both of which were released on Profile. Each album had its fair share of filler, and neither Slick nor Sly were exemplary rappers, but singles like "Do It to the Crowd" and "Wrong Place, Wrong Time" provided thrills. The trio presumably split after the second album.

So their history is a little blahzay blahzay. They are not unlike most other "Twins of Entertainment", meaning that they are destined for 14 minutes, 58 seconds of fame. But their most famous single, "Do It To the Crowd", sort of pulled a "little engine that could" for the Hip House movement, which could or could not have ushered in the whole Techno/House/Breaks/Trance/Electric jamboree that we see today. But more than likely, that opinion is one of ignorance and "don't-care-idness" (new word alert!), cause I hate techno and all things related to it. Homeboy here I think has a better explanation to the origins.

But for whatever reason, I've always like this song for a few reasons. First being the Monkees sample right off the bat. That musta took some nerve. I mean who used a Monkee sample back in the day? Wasn't it prohibited if it wasn't James Brown or Nautilus? Just kidding. Second, the driving bass rhythm through out the track drives both girlies and eardrums crazy. Think I'm, fibbing? Pop this 12 on the techs the next time you have a house party...Asstackularness (new slang alert!) ensues. Finally, and most importantly, you can do the Tyrone the Crackhead dance to it. Then again, I have yet to find a song that you couldn't do the Tyrone Biggums jig to.

Now-a-days, you can see their remains in artists like Tricky, Chemical Brothers, Anti-Pop, and Chap The Avenger. Like all forms of art, it's cyclical. So eventually, under this theory, breakin' and high top fades should be right around the bend. YES!

Never ever, ever, ever fakin' the funk,

Brother B aka DJ Set Busy Activated

* Shameek is still doing his thing, apparently.

I Finally Found Out What Hammer Had In Them Damn Pants - J.Ro

2 Legit 2 Quit - MC Hammer

It's "Dance" oriented hip hop week here at The Funk, and to lead it off on this holiday edition is MC Hammer's 1991 "hey, we even have a quasi-dance routine complete with a hand gesture that White folks can do" dance track, "2 Legit 2 Quit". The funny thing about this song is that it sort of came out at the same time that the Falcons went hardcore and hired Jerry Glanville and changed their uniforms to black, silver, red & white from the red coats. On second thought, not really funny. Just coincidence that Hammer went sort of hard core dance (didn't Fresh Prince address this?) the same time the Falcons tried to be the Raiders of the south.

Why is this important? Well like most other thangs that revolve around football, it somehow is related to Florida State is some fashion. In this case, the man himself, Prime Time, Neon Deion Sanders was in year 2 in the Niffle and was still putting fear into the offensive and special teams coordinators with his shutdown cornerability (new word alert!) and punt return mastery.

But B, how does this tie in with Hammer (Proper!)? Well, if you remember the video for this dandy, it had a whole bunch of pro athletes doing the "2 Legit" hand dance. Among them where Jerry G. and yes, Prime Time. I have tried to find the video online to give you proof but have had no such luck. I did however find this on eBay. Now if I can only find a laserdisc player. Remember those?

Anyhoodle, Prime Time and Hammer would do a song later called "Straight To My Feet". As Forrest Gump would say, "And that's all I'm going to say about that". Yikes!

But B, how does this whole thing apply to you?

Well, I'm embarrassed to say it, but for the Fall 1991 8th Grade dance we had to dress up in costume. And I picked...MC Hammer. Seriously.

Brother B.

Side Note, in the breakdown right after the first chorus, are the dude's saying "Get Buck, Get Buck"? I had not heard that before.