Weekend Ramblings...

Boogs and I were peeping the Niffle Draft yesterday (more later) and on the other screen they were showing the TV commercials for the NBA playoffs and I had an idea. What if (and only by the Lord's good graces would this ever happen) they did a promo commercial for the playoffs featuring LeBron/Rip Hamilton and The Masked Wonder himself, MF Doom. Like Doom doing the real version of Let's Get It Started and shit. How cool would that be?

Sort of related, here is a cut from Special Herbs (Doom & Grimm)....
1000 Degrees - MF Doom & MF Grimm
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Well, how do I say this without being tooooo blunt? Aw hell, The Denver Broncos and Mike Shanahan are going to go 0-16 this year for drafting that ass-monsieur Maurice Clarett. That's right, I said it. What is the blue blazes of bafoonery is going on here? He gets drafted before a rack of kids who are 1. Not criminals, 2. Didn't quit on their teammates, 3. Drag their university down with them, and 4. are not bamafied fat ass cry babies? The 4th sign of the Apocalypse folks, so keep track.

But what else can you expect from Shanahan, who is a Gaytor product.

Joey already spoke/wrote to this fact, but the talking heads who do the draft are worse than AJ on 106 & Park as far a watchability. Shall we run it down? We shall! (Draft Style!)h

1. Chris Berman: His jokes are as tired as Paris Hilton's...well, you know what. Get a new act or get out of the way Boomer. Late 2nd rounder. Durability issues.

2. Chris Mortensen: The king of "I knew this before hand but couldn't tell you" observations. Lack of knowledge about football masked by unclever insight into the "mind" of the pro football player. Late 3rd rounder at best, but prolly knows some dirt on someone in the organization which is why he still has a job. Character issues.

3. Mel Kiper: His Expertness. Truly only redeeming quality is his hair, cause that shit could stop a bomb from doin' damage. You have to wonder how many teams actually listen to what his "rankings" say. I say none. But you have to respect a man for basically creating a position for himself and keeping it for this long. Mid 2nd rounder for the hair, late 4th for his personality.

4. Merrill Hodge: Undrafted free agent. His hair piece is atrocious. And his "I'm a former player so I know more than you" approach is just gay. Bama.

5. Jaws (Jaworski, Ron): Easily excitable and upsetable. Former player who doesn't really let you know that (he assumes), but he'll be quick to put a "head" in their place with his Jedi telestrator moves. Late 2nd rounder.

6. Suzy Kolber/Andrea Kramer: Sort of eye candy with brains, but no matter how much they try, Kramer is not attractive. They both know football, but they ask the "How do you feel" type questions which diminishes their true value. Both late 3rd Rounders. Tahorgable Wonderlick scores.

7. The "On site" reporters: Free agents. No real insight value, even though Palentonio (sp?) wants you to think that he's bringing you information from "sources". Each of these folks is easily replaceable, much like Mike Golic & Mike Greenberg who are easily the worst radio hosts in the country.

So anyhow, I hate the coverage of the draft, but not the draft itself. I enjoy seeing where former Noles or local kids end up trying to get a job at. So it's cool to catch, every once in a while. So with that, I'm going to watch the Formula One Grand Prix from San Marino and enjoy some real racing, not that Nascar shit.

Peace
Brother B