Kappa Tow On The Panty Side...My Brother

GUEST POST TODAY!!!
(Ed. Note: Since I am without a doubt flu-infested, we at the Funk would like to present the musings of K-Boogie aka Keith Boogs aka TiVo aka...So check 'em out and enjoy the madness - Brother B)

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Yo yo,

Thanks for having me over here at The Funk. I go by the name of K-Boogie, and that’s only because all the better names were taken. Though I am thinking about calling myself Ill Smith.

By now, you’re familiar with the written ramblings of one Brother B, homeboy extraordinaire. Me, I’m new to the world of the blog, but I‘m hoping to spark some dialogue (Oh snap, let me rhyme ‘Dog‘ and ‘Fog‘ real quick and give me a Swizz Beat, and we got a hit!).

I’m not nearly the crate-digger that you have found B-Deenie and DJ Mentos to be, or if I am, the crates just aren’t as old. I like funk and old soul, but I’m not versed in it like these cats. So my musings won’t take you back past your first pair of Gazelles.

Do you have Da King and I lyrics stuck in your head and think you’re the only one? Fear not. I own a TDS Mob 12-inch record. I know which group Chino XL was in before he went solo. And Butcher Shop was my favorite cut off of Road to the Riches. I thought I would go to the grave with all of this information taking up valuable brain space. But thanks to The Funk, I’ll drop in once every week or two to warm it up a little bit, and share some of this previously pointless knowledge. Hopefully you out there will spit back and take solace in the fact that someone else owns the Home Team album and isn’t embarrassed to admit it.

Enough with the small talk.

Hip-hop milk carton

Now that I have the platform, maybe The Funk Readers (y’all need a name… funk loyalists? Funkenstanksurfers?) can help me answer a few questions that have been bugging me over the years.

1. Weren’t there four members of A Tribe Called Quest around the time I Left My Wallet in El Segundo came out? I know there were, because -- sadly -- I have the video on tape. What happened to Jarobi?

2. Remember when MC Hammer was cool, pre-U Can’t Touch This? Didn’t he have a sidekick named 2 Bigg MC? How come when Hammer graduated from Turn This Mutha Out to 2 Legit to Quit and expanded the entourage to several dozen, 2 Bigg disappeared? Not that I liked the guy. I just felt good knowing they made shiny suits that large. Dude was keeping some sequin company in business all by his lonesome.

3. DJ Scratch was definitely an upgrade, but don’t think I don’t listen to Strictly Business and wonder what happened to EPMD’s DJ K-LaBoss. If anyone out there can help me with this one -- Went to culinary school, left to teach ESL in Greenland, had baby mama drama -- I will sleep more soundly at night.

The nameless verse-busters

Two more things have been bothering me, especially since I saw a stripper named Jazz shake her fine beige booty to Toni Tony Tone’s (did I get the correct vowels?) classic Feels Good last week.

“Most ladies the mellow, quite a nice fellow, met 3T here to rhyme acapello…”

Who is that dude? Sure, Google might be able to answer it. Ohhla.com possibly. But I’m counting on you folks, because word of mouth is everything in hip-hop.

We’ve always been able to count on hip-hoppers to let you know who they are. Most great MCs mention their name or give you a clue somewhere in the song, which is great if you first heard it off some label-less dub tape your man left at your crib. An MC will tell you who he is (Ed. Note: Phil Da Agony abuses this requirement), his alternate MC moniker, his DJs name, his crew and the label he’s on. What other musical genre can claim that? You never heard Bonnie Raitt shout out her bandmates and big up Capitol Records, did you? (This just makes me think of that Chapelle’s Show skit where he plays Nat King Cole pouring champagne on some hottie, chanting ‘King Cole Records beyotch!”)

So Toni Tony Tone, as the great Catashtrophe said, called an MC to make their R&B song hype. And dude had the nerve not to mention his name!

Same goes for the guy who busts a verse on Salt N’ Pepa’s Shoop. “Big tall lover 6-2, wanna get with you…” That guy. Again, no name. No ‘Salt N’ Pepa feat. Herby Luv Bug’ or whoever on the album credits either.

What’s that you say? Why do I claim real hip-hop and then talk about Shoop? (Does Fresh Prince shoulder shrug). Uh, because it uses the same beat as Ice Cube’s original Check Yourself.

Just an observation

Late on the B-side of Del’s first tape, I Wish My Brother George Was Here, he says something to the effect of “If I ever dissed an MC, it was one with a name…”

On Del’s second album, No Need For Alarm, he has a song called Wack MCs, in which he disses a nameless MC, as per hip-hop tradition.

New School Banger of the Week

Okay, actually I don’t have one for this week because I’m listening to this 165-song mix B made called High Skool Hits, which covers about 92-96 in rap. But whenever I post, I’ll share the relatively new songs -- and probably some lost ones -- that are worth checking out.

Here are my three for the week:

Rat Race - Gift of Gab
Oh My God - Masta Ace feat. The Beatnuts
On the Eve of War - Jedi Mind Tricks feat. The GZA

That about does it for my first foray, only because I don’t know how long these jawns are supposed to be. But I’m looking forward to both sharing and hearing what you have to share about this music we love.

K-Boogie also writes about fantasy sports at www.rotogods.com, under the pen name TiVo.